She Was Right

August 07, 2019  •  Leave a Comment

My mom that is. She was right. She generally is but I'll never admit it. Think she reads these? Honestly she could and would never mention it. She's ninja like that but it's all good since all her wisdom pours out post game. She also could have read one cuss word then stopped after that so I feel pretty safe.
Then again I will admit, on her being right again, that even if she told me the mistakes I would make that I wouldn't listen and just make them anyhow. It was those mistakes though that got me here today. It was those mistakes that blessed me with two amazing clones and a life I could never imagine, good and bad. 

Askreddit almost weekly has a time travel question and I think back to About Time, which is the most disguised chick flick to see how emotional a man truly is, which *spoiler alert* is about a guy that can travel back in time as many times as he wants except after the birth of his first born because going back does not guarantee the same outcome. He does all this work though to meet the love of his life, set it up right, be together and then his father gets sick and they both have this power. They both constantly travel to spend more time with each other but as the present continues and he now has a son on the way, he can't keep going back to spend time with his dad. Once that has passed, it's just about time til the end comes. What's your gamble to lose what you have now? Maybe it's not much, I can't say but as a parent there is no gamble worth making that risk. We have seen Ashton Kutcher wreck lives over and over. I am not a genius level superhero trying to save the universe either. I am me and I love them so much that, hey, it's fate. Schizer, there's that word again. It's the thing about being a parent though that no matter what you are going to live the life you have now to the best of your ability. It just so happens that lately with the life I am living it is the best one to be living not because I have to or even just adopting to it but rather I have had the freedom to rediscover myself. I was able to see what I needed and this is it. I needed this. I needed my mom to be right. Well, i needed something to happen for her to be right about.

Yeah, it's kinda like that. There is a difference. I am far more aware of who I am, what I want and how to go about getting it. I mean, even Genghis Khan might have issues with these walls. I may be happy, appear like everything is great, pst it really is! and I may be a bit extra with the Positive Mental Attitude but the truth is I have the false confidence of a chihuahua. No details, but it is what it is as I continue to get through life and break out. Luckily I have some great new friends, always reliable Brats and just recent events have shown me I may need to lower the level a bit. Hook some ladders and install some gates. Maybe I'll be more comfortable in my own skin, more comfortable when I go out and actually interact. I've been playing it safe but that's what we all do right? Like an animal out of hibernation you kinda poke your head out a bit, smell the air and see what's changed. A lot has changed. A lot is changing. I said last year this would be a year of change. 2019 was going to be mine and I would not hit repeat on 2020. At this rate, I have no clue what 2020 will be other than nothing like 2018 and a whole lot of great influence of 2019. 

I think I came into this wrong because all I wanted to say was my mom was right and I am definitely ok with that.

 


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